“Preacher” coming to HBO

It could be a blessing from God or a recipe for Hell on earth. According to The Hollywood Reporter today, “Preacher” is coming to HBO.

It’s something fans have been wanting since the Vertigo comic book series ended in 2000. For years, rumors have come and gone about various film adaptations and TV shows, but nothing has ever come to fruition. Have their prayers finally been answered?

I wouldn’t hold my breath just yet. Co-creator Garth Ennis stated back in late June that a TV series was a “no go”, and this sudden turn-around is kind of a big surprise.

Plus, the pilot episode is being written by Mark Steve Johnson, who is responsible for penning such classics as Big Bully, Grumpier Old Men, and Jack Frost (the Michael Keaton one). That’s scary. The director, Howard Deutch, has Pretty in Pink, Getting Even With Dad, and The Replacements under his career belt.

The article mentions no release date.

Quad Out and About: Borat

Friday night was coming to a close, and the vicious jaws of an 8-hour workshift awaited me the next morning. Ultimately, I decided that sitting around staring at my monitor (like I usually do) would be an unnecessary waste of my temporary freedom, and I’d feel lousy about it the next morning. I grabbed some things together and drove 30 miles to see Borat.
Before I get to the movie itself, I’d like to make something clear: unless there is a serious price reduction in the future, I will never, ever visit a concession stand ever again. It’s worse than being teabagged by Azamat, seriously. Since this was the ‘funniest movie in America’ and is continuing to heap in box office profits, I chose the # 2 combo off the menu: one large popcorn and one large drink. A total price of $ 9.59. I ordered water for a beverage, and was told that I needed to go fill the cup up out of the drinking fountain. They charged me the full price. I would’ve been much better off just buying the damned popcorn and taking sips out of the fountain for free. And Hollywood wonders why people don’t like going to theaters anymore.

Borat is the first time in a long while that I’ve laughed in a comedy before the actual feature started. The previews looked absolutely horrendous. The first one was an ad for a flick about insects that crawl under your skin or something, brought to us by the director of the original Exorcist. Which may turn out to be a lot greater than it appears, but what was this piece of fabulous upcoming celluloid called? Bug. That’s right, BUG. I laughed my ass off.

The second was for a live-action version of Charlotte’s Web, “the most beloved story of our time,” the trailer claimed. Well if that’s the case, why did the creators insist on hurting its credibility so much? A voice cast featuring the likes of John Cleese, Steve Buscemi and Cedric the Entertainer I can tolerate, but not fart jokes. One of these days, Hollywood is going to realize that flatulence simply isn’t funny anymore. It never really was to begin with, and yet every children’s movie has to have it at least one time.

Another preview showcased Norbit, in which Eddie Murphy plays multiple characters and also puts on a fat suit. Whatever, I don’t care. I’ve come to expect tired rehashes.

But enough about all that. Borat is indeed a funny movie, well worth the price of admission (without the added cost of concession junkfood). But I daresay it’s not for everyone, and I warn those with strict conservative leanings to stay as far away as they can. If naked manbits offend you, if you don’t like your fellow Texans being turned into clueless buffoons, or if you absolutely cannot find anything funny about women’s rights, racism, or homophobia, don’t go. For the love of God, don’t go.

Borat is a mockumentary with a paper-thin plot, concerning an idiotic Kazakhstani resident named Borat Sagdiyev. He originates from an anti-Semitic, male dominated nation, where he works as a TV reporter. His most recent assignment is traveling to the USA to find out what makes our country so great, with the ultimate goal of improving downtrodden Kazakhstan. Unfortunately, he forgot to leave behind his views of the opposite sex, Jews, male affection, and polite conversation.

In real life, of course, Borat isn’t a real person at all, but a cleverly disguised British comedian/satirist named Sacha Baron Cohen. For years, he’s been pranking unsuspecting people on his Showtime epic “Da Ali G Show”, always under the role of a bizarre caricature. The unassuming interviewees/victims are never aware of the joke, because Cohen’s characters represent a mold they have come to expect as being accurate. Their prejudices and hangups are the primary punchlines, not the portrayal of a wacky foreigner or homosexual.

Like the show, Borat consists mainly of Cohen capturing unaware innocents (with ‘innocents’ being a misnomer in a few cases) on camera, then driving them to the edge of insanity with his antics. A lot of these encounters are memorable cinematic moments, but the movie has a bad habit of cutting away too quickly. Hopefully, the DVD will provide a helping of extended and deleted scenes, maybe even an ‘Unrated’ version.

Initially, Borat’s job is to interview subjects in New York City, but all of this changes one night when he sees the most beautiful woman in the world on television: Pamela Anderson. Charmed by her beauty and apparent purity, he becomes obsessed with marrying and deflowering her, and convinces his reluctant producer that they need to visit California to get the full extent of American culture. Much happens along the way.

The character of Borat himself is a paradox. He’s not particularly likable, but it’s easy to forgive his offensive comments and gestures because of his naivety and lack of intelligence. Most of his interview subjects are willing to look past his shortcomings, until he simply pushes them too far and they play right into his hands.

Final Verdict: *** out of ****. It’s not as side-splittingly hilarious as all the critics would have you believe, but it is funny and provides limitless potential for comedy despite falling under 90 minutes. Go see it, but beware of its tendency to offend.

South Park: Season 10 in Review

Last night marked the end of “South Park’s” 10th season. Ever since middle school, tuning in every Wednesday night to has been a weekly ritiual, and to date, I’ve seen every single one.

But the show has definitely gone downhill. It hasn’t quite reached rock bottom, to the point where I refuse to tune in and watch new installments (see: “The Simpsons”) but the lack of quality is distinctly noticeable. Especially now. This has less to do with my own maturity, and much more with the age of the show itself. Once a certain point is reached, any show, regardless of how good it may have been in its prime, loses the shine it once had. That, and I firmly believe that Trey and Matt are ready to move on.

Still, there were some good moments, which has why I keep tuning in. Since the beginning, “South Park” has always been a mixed bag, so if one episode bombed out there was a chance that the next one would be better. In the later seasons, a pattern began emerging where every other episode was decent and the others were crap. But this time around, quality was not as predictable.

Today, I’m going to sort out the highs from the lows and briefly talk about what I felt were this season’s strongest (and weakest) points.

THE GOOD:

The Return of Chef!- Prior to season 10’s premiering, Issac Hayes (allegedly) made a shocking announcement. He wasn’t happy with season nine’s take on Scientology, and decided to walk out on the show. This did not sit well with the show’s creators. So the opening episode ripped on the religion in a more indirect way, turned one of the most beloved characters into a pedophile, and then killed him off. Horribly. Not content with the anger and spite expressed toward Hayes’s desertion, Matt and Trey brought Chef back at the end in a life-support suit; but whether or not his character will ever return is a question that remains to be answered.

Cartoon Wars (2 parts)- The big miss that was “Smug Alert” left more than a few people unhappy with the way the show was heading (including yours truly), so “Cartoon Wars” was a satisfying turnaround. Two-part episodes are generally better than others, and this was a good example of M & T declaring their hate for something but still being able to remain funny. They even took the opportunity to make fun of themselves for getting too preachy– though I wish they’d realized that their social commentary really is bothersome.

Tsst- “Tsst” ended the first half of this season, and it picked up the pace after two previous tremendous letdowns. It goes to show that the guys really haven’t lost their touch, their talent restrained only by laziness and apathy.

Make Love, Not Warcraft- It seems that a few people were inspired by “Red vs. Blue” over the five-month hiatus. Brilliant, hilarious, and with perfect timing, this is how”South Park” should always be. It was entertaining even for a guy like me, who has never actually played World of Warcraft, let alone watched anybody else.

Hell on Earth 2006- One of the things that the CAPalert guy hated about South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut was the portrayal of Satan as a nice guy at heart, and I think M & T caught word of that resentment. The character has been like that ever since. After all, what’s more infuriating to the Religious Right than the archenemy of God being the one who earns the most sympathy at the end? “Hell on Earth 2006″ continues that tradition, and saves plenty of room for humor… including a too-soon Steve Irwin joke.

THE ‘ALRIGHT’:

Miss Teacher Bangs a Boy- Teacher-student sex scandals have always been rampant in the media, long before “South Park” ever hit the airwaves. I’m not sure why it was necessary to do an episode about it this late in the series, but here you go. It did a fair job of mocking the double-standard attitudes toward underage relationships with teachers, even if the decision to use Ike as the male half was a bit… okay, it was really disturbing.

Stanley’s Cup- This was last night’s episode, and over its course the quality dropped. It had the potential to be a classic, and in the first act I was laughing harder than I’m used to when viewing latter-day “South Park”. But by the end it had shifted into a lame parody of underdog movies. Kudos to the guys for sticking to their guns and avoiding a happy ending, but as a whole “Stanley’s Cup” could have been much better.

AND THE REST:

Smug Alert- M & T have always been opposed to the liberal ‘protect the earth’ bandwagon, and it definitely shows here. The overall message– that people who choose to drive hybrid cars have smug attitudes– is stupid and misguided, but gets worse with the addition of confusing resolution.

A Million Little Fibers- Whereas all the other ‘bad’ episodes of the season fail because of their preachiness, “A Million Little Fibers” features another common occurrence: beating a gag to death. Having Oprah’s genitals argue with each other with British accents was funny during the first five minutes, but as the episode dragged on it happened again. And again. And again. It eventually got so redundant that I couldn’t stand it anymore. This had to be the worst they could do…

ManBearPig- … But little did I know what horror awaited me a week later. “ManBearPig” is the worst episode in the show’s history, hands down. Not even “Jakovasaurs” came close to this level of absolute banality. Pure crap, from beginning to miserable end. It nearly brought the entirety of season 10 down to its level.

Go God Go (2 parts)- I mentioned previously that two part episodes are usually good. I wish the same could be said in this case. Both segments were mediocre in their own way, but it was part 2 (or “Part XII”) that was the worst of the batch.

I seriously doubt that M & T are going to pay attention to the rantings in some random nerd’s blog. But I think they could learn a lesson or two from season 10’s offerings: the best episodes are the ones that rely much more heavily on jokes than messages. Good jokes, at that.

* 1/2 out of ****.

Classic Moments in Advertising- “Don’t be a Weenie”

The news of Sony’s somewhat arrogant response to the PS3’s $600 price tag is now staler than three-year-old bread, but it’s not the first time such bold statements have been made. Take a look at this classic advertisement. In 1990, SNK attempted to push its nearly $ 700 Neo-Geo console by essentially telling kids they would be laughable without one. Marketing and inferiority complexes— they go hand in hand!

“Does NEO-GEO cost more than other video game systems? You bet. Does a Ferrari cost more than a Yugo? Does Prime Rib cost more than squirrel burgers? With NEO-GEO you get more than you paid for. It’s simple. Would you rather be a cold weenie? Or a real hot dog!”

 

So the next time you want to sell a game console that costs more than a decent PC, just tell your potential buyers that they’ll be losers without one.  And be sure to put down your competition by including a phallic reference.

Man Single-Handedly Creates Animated Film. May Need to Ask for Five Years Back?

I can understand creating flash animation or web episodes entirely by yourself. But feature-length animated films? Brother, that’s a commitment.

But apparently Phil Nibbelink (former Disney animator, director of An American Tale: Fievel Goes West and We’re Back! A Dinosaur’s Story) managed to pull it off. He spent five years in his home studio writing, directing, and animating his own 80 minute movie all by himself. He used family members for voice acting. He took charge of promotion to get word of the project out.

The film is called Romeo and Juliet: Sealed With a Kiss. It’s a somewhat direct adaption of the Shakespeare hit, with baby seals as the title characters and various sea creatures filling out the remaining cast. A trailer can be found on Youtube here, and another on the official site.

An impressive and memorable effort? Well… I’m not so sure. The previews remind me in too many ways of throwaway early-to-mid-90s crap, going as far as having an adorable fish spouting catch phrases at every turn. Plus, that brief scene with the ‘Prince’ gives off a creepy vibe that I can’t ignore. Maybe the whole internet has scarred me.