Scariest Moments From Unsolved Mysteries: Ghosts

I’ve been a fan of Unsolved Mysteries for as long as I can remember, and was excited as hell when the DVD box sets were announced. Finally, I could get episodes of one of my all-time favorite shows, without watching the Lifetime channel. Of particular interest to me were the ghost stories, now conveniently packed into a four-disc set called Unsolved Mysteries: Ghosts. These segments scared the everloving crap out of me as a kid, and now, they would scare the everloving crap out of me as an adult.

Overall, the set was pretty much what I was expecting, although it has some weak points. A few of the included segments don’t deal with ghosts at all. The Mary Celeste’s disappearing crew or a mysterious humming noise is certainly interesting, but those stories might as well have been left out, considering that there are several ghost segments that were excluded from the set. While this isn’t the absolute definitive collection, it’s close enough.

 

And what it’s meant to do, it does well, and by that I mean sending chills down my back. I bring it out every Halloween and watch it in the dark, just for the added fun of feeling like I’m being watched. After owning the set for several years, I decided to write up an entry detailing (in my opinion) the scariest visual moments. The following is some honest-to-God-piss-your-pants material, so I recommend having a functional lamp nearby if you’re surfing in the dark.

Holy Monkeys! “Weird Science” Seasons 1 & 2 to be Released on DVD!

It’s about time!

During my semi-daily browsing of DVD Verdict this morning, I came across some news (well, a quick flash of cover art) that brought a twinge of sunshine upon this down-on-his-luck shut-in. It seems A&E Home Video is finally releasing a boxed set of “Weird Science”, a show that was a favorite of mine as a preteen.

“Weird Science” was an adaptation of the 1985 John Hughes film, featuring the same characters and updated for the mid-90s crowd. It chronicled the misadventures of Gary and Wyatt (John Mallory Asher and Michael Manasseri) two high school nerds who used their computer-generated genie, Lisa (Vanessa Angel) to grant them wishes beyond their wildest dreams- though said wishes always had unfortunate side-effects, and wore off at the end of every show. 88 episodes were produced, and the series ran from 1994-1997. I’d call that a pretty successful run, in comparison with certain other vehicles.

DVD features will include audio commentary on three episodes, a trivia quiz, and cast biographies. The total runtime of is 598 minutes. The release date is January 1, 2008.

Although I’m excited about this release, I’m not ready to rush out and spend money on it right away. Reruns have aired on various channels in recent years, but I haven’t actually watched the show since age 12. There’s no telling how much I’ve grown up in comparison to what’s on these discs, so a quick rental might be in order first.

On the other hand, I’m about to spend money on “Captain N”. So maybe I should keep my mouth shut about maturity.

“South Park” ‘Imaginationland’ DVD to Hit Stores March 2008

The 11th season of “South Park” was a positive turnaround for the series. I’d been watching the show faithfully since I was in the 8th grade, but noted a steady decline in quality as the years passed. After the lackluster, politically fixated 10th season, I was ready to give up.

Fortunately, season 11 fared a lot better. Trey Parker and Matt Stone shifted their priorities from libertarian preaching (though not entirely) to focus on being funny again. This year saw not just memorable episodes, but wildly creative ones. Who can forget the amazingly screwed up “Lice Capades”, the conversion therapy critique “Cartman Sucks”, or “The List” , which was hilarious and awkward.

And then there was the “Imaginationland” trilogy of episodes, which belongs in a category all by itself. Here, M&T did a number of things. They crammed in over a hundred references to our favorite childhood heroes and villains without resorting to a ‘Family Guy’-type joke structure. They remained consistently funny throughout, put Butters at the helm (which is always a plus) and even brought back the Woodland Critters.

The response was overwhelmingly positive. According to this TV Shows on DVD press release (my source for this) “Imaginationland”was Comedy Central’s most watched telecast of the year, bringing in almost 10 million viewers. Among the 18-24 male demographic, the rating was higher than Game 1 of the World Series. The internet, as strong a reflection of pop culture as ever, was abuzz with praise.

Now, Paramount and Comedy Central are putting together a special DVD of the “Imaginationland” trilogy. The episodes will be uncensored, and the disc will feature bonus footage created exclusively for the release. The press release provides no other significant details, like information about commentary tracks or whether the episodes will be cut together to run like an hour long film.

The question on my mind, though, is if this is necessary. There’s no doubt that this release is an attempt to cash in on the hype surrounding”Imaginatonland”, but the Season 11 box set will likely be released around or about the same time. You’ll be able to get those same three episodes, uncensored (because the season sets are now being put together as such)– why not include the bonus footage as an extra?

Weekend Links

Steve Urkel once guest-starred on “Full House”. The pain. The pain! (poeTV)

The UK battle over “Manhunt 2” continues. (Gamepolitics)

Microsoft is cracking down on profane gamer mottos. (Joystiq)

The Angry Video Game Nerd posted a review of “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” Atari 2600 game. Possibly NSFW due to language. (Gametrailers)

Saw V is scheduled for an October 2008 release. Enough already! (ComingSoon.net)

Filthy tears apart The Heartbreak Kid. NSFW, language. (The Filthy Critic)

Nintendo Vice President: No Wii Price cut soon. (Game Revolution)

Classic “South Park”. I’m tired of these language warnings, go for it. (poeTV)

Weekend Links

Nintendo DS: 50 million units in less than three years (Game Revolution)

This is easily the most depressing thing I’ve seen all week. Have something on hand to vomit in. (poeTV)

And this is the most annoying thing I’ve seen all week, but at least it will wash the taste of bile out of your mouth if you viewed that last clip. (poeTV)

More “Halo 3” woes. First scratched discs, now some guys claiming that it’s not actually HD. (Joystiq)

Nintendo doesn’t give developers enough credit, leaves their names off packaging spines. (Kotaku)

Resident Evil: Extinction has a current metacritic score of 42 and was number one at the box office last weekend. Metacritic score for the previous RE movie: 35. (Metacritic, CNN)

“Chuck”, a new show about a nerd with a computer in his brain, has earned a ‘generally favorable’ response from critics. (Metacritic)

Can I get away with one more Metacritic link? “Halo 3” has earned (so far) a 95. (Metacritic)

A boy did NOT strangle his sister over “Bioshock” (Destructoid)

 

Weekend Links

A guy claims the Resident Evil series is racist, but doesn’t seem to have all his facts straight. (GamePolitics)

Remember “Silent Hill 2″? The original working title has just been revealed: “Party Town!” (poeTV)

IBM is researching ways to make virtual worlds accessible to the blind. (Kotaku)

Will Final Fantasy XIII be PS3 exclusive? Square Enix can’t seem to make up its mind. (Destructoid)

Microsoft is claiming that the XBox 360 has been improved. Will the Red Ring of Death be no more? (Game Revolution)

I’ve just discovered that Patton Oswalt is hilarious. Warning: filthy language here. (poeTV)

Joel Hodgson pre-MST3K. Hey, the guy who submitted that video sounds familiar… (poeTV)

“Like an advertisement for condoms”

There’s no breaking news to editorialize or major ranting to be done today, so I thought I’d share a couple of classic Youtube videos. Both have been online for a while now, so it’s not like I’m breaking new ground by showing them off.

I should warn you beforehand, though. These two clips demonstrate humanity in its absolute lowest form. They will either make you feel ashamed for being a human being, 0r help you realize that your problems are minuscule compared to other, far more broken individuals.

This first clip is of the infamous World of Warcraft Ventrilo kid. In case you missed out when it initially hit the scene (or your browser isn’t capable of playing flash videos) here’s a synopsis: a WoW obsessed brat (I’m guessing he’s 15 or 16) has been down in his parent’s basement playing the game for hours on end, and mom and dad are tired of it. First mother dearest tries to peel her fat suburban spawn away from the computer screen, prompting lots of screaming, whining, and sobbing. Then dad joins in on the chaos, proving to be just as ineffective as his good lady wife. The video ends with a lot of shrill incoherence from teentoddler, an argument over a lacrosse match, and banter between two guys who were apparently listening in the whole time.

My interest in this clip was renewed by a posting on Game Revolution. Site creator Duke Ferris said that the kid in the clip is “an agent of his own destruction” and “like an advertisement for condoms.” His simile was spot on.

And this one… oh dear Lord, we’re on the train to nowhereland fast. Here, we make a swift exit from the boredom and angst of everyday upper-middle-class suburbia, and find ourselves right smack in the middle of a trailer park. 15-year-old Victoria is determined to have herself a youngin, regardless of what her “stupid mother” has to say about it. And Tori’s had sex over 300 times! That’s right, she’s been counting!

For the life of me, I’ll never understand the mentality of talk show guests. Instead of getting professional help for these sorts of issues, they’d rather go on “The Maury Povich Show” and make total asses of themselves on national television. I don’t get it. Does the warm lighting or eye of a camera make them more comfortable? Are they exhibitionists in some way? Do they think Maury has more insight than a real therapist?

Whatever. Enjoy this heaping helping of sad!

“The Simpsons Movie”: Redemption, or the Final Nail?

Yesterday, I was busy doing what I normally do (lying around, being an introvert, not meeting new people) when a hard fact suddenly hit me:

“The Simpsons” has been around a long, long time.

I was renting “Bart vs. the Space Mutants” for my NES back in 1990, and that was SEVENTEEN YEARS AGO. Since then, my primary, entire elementary, adolescence, teen, and young adult years have run parallel to this show’s continued existence. I was there for everything: the raging soccer mom movement against Bart’s underachiever/sling-shot t-shirts, the show being moved to Thursday nights, the “Who Shot Mr. Burns?” specials, Milhouse dealing with his parents divorce, fandom spreading to the Internet, comic books, trading cards, stickers and posters. I once had a towering stack of VHS tapes where I’d religiously recorded edited syndicated episodes, and a separate one where I taped most of the eighth season when it was originally broadcast (this, coincediently, means I also owned a collection of commercials from 1996.)

And of course, I was there when the show hit absolute rock-bottom. Around about season nine or so, all the old writers were suddenly shuffled out the door and replaced with a staff who had never seen a single previous episode in their lives. The character were reduced to one-joke shells of what they once were, and the stories were lame-brained affairs, clearly the result of producers whose hammers were falling on an empty chamber of ideas. But mostly, it was the jokes. Out of the blue, they just stopped being funny.

So I completely stopped watching any new airings of the show. Instead, I became content on collecting DVDs of the older, better days, and watched “The Simpsons” collapse into utter banality from afar. For some reason, it continues being on the air despite being the equivalent of a maggot-infested, desecrated corpse. Only the “Simpsons” name is keeping it alive.

Now, in less than three days time, The Simpsons Movie will be hitting theaters. It’s certainly no small event, especially for Fox, who have been advertising the hell out of it. As the countdown to the movie’s nationwide release begins, I can’t help but wonder if this will be the redeeming factor in the show’s history. One big upside is that the screenplay was written by a lot of the old writing staff– the ones who didn’t confuse “The Simpsons” with a “Family Guy” marathon.

Will “The Simpsons” be released from its prison of despair? Or will it keep rotting and be forced to go on living, like a 29-year-old cat with no hair and teeth? Only time will tell.

Buffy’s in the Mail

The first issue of “Buffy: Season 8″ officially hit stores on March 14, but yours truly didn’t score a copy right away. Had I done so, I might have posted a review up here already (looking over the fact that every blogger who cares about this has published their thoughts already, and one guy even got a copy in advance). Fortunately, things that can’t be tracked locally can almost be found online. So I’ve ordered and paid, and I should be receiving the comic sometime next week.

God bless the Internet!

Captain N: The Game Master Hits DVD

Oh, to be a guy who was around in the early 90s! How would we live without DVD, the blessed format that has forever preserved our memories of crap TV shows that would have never make it past the pilot in this day and age!? Shout Factory, the same company that put The Legend of Zelda and The Super Mario Bros. Super Show! in handy disc format, has now bestowed upon us Captain N: The Game Master. Now those of us in our early 20s can pretend we’re all six year olds again.

It’s an invaluable piece of game history, and with a retail price around $ 20 (at least on Amazon) it’s a steal. The only thing that would make me happier is if they released a ‘deluxe’ edition that came with a control pad belt and a talking Gameboy keychain.