Movie Review: Friday the 13th (1980)
October 13, 2008
Ten of my Favorite Youtube Clips
October 6, 2008What follows is a list of ten of my favorite Youtube clips. It’s not a top 10 list, because I’d have trouble ranking them, and there are dozens of other videos that I love equally, if not more.
I realize that making a list like this is risky, as Youtube links tend to disappear faster than soap bubbles. Six months from now, half of these will probably be gone, and I’ll be set with the tedious task of finding replacements. But for now, click the link and enjoy these ten extraordinary clips.
Don LaFontaine Dead, Age 68
September 2, 2008
Movie trailers will never sound the same again.
Don LaFontaine, perhaps better known as “The Movie Announcer Guy” or “The King of Voiceovers”, died yesterday from a collapsed lung. He was 68.
For years, LaFontaine lent his unmistakable voice to thousands of movie trailers and television programs. Although some moviegoers may not recognize him by name, they almost certainly know what he sounded like. Millions have heard his dramatic, low-pitched delivery.
Now that LaFontaine is dead, a question remains: who on earth could possibly replace him? Hollywood will have a tough time coming up with a man to match his talents.
He will be missed, and Quad’s Corner mourns his passing.
Scariest Moments From Unsolved Mysteries: Ghosts
August 31, 2008I’ve been a fan of Unsolved Mysteries for as long as I can remember, and was excited as hell when the DVD box sets were announced. Finally, I could get episodes of one of my all-time favorite shows, without watching the Lifetime channel. Of particular interest to me were the ghost stories, now conveniently packed into a four-disc set called Unsolved Mysteries: Ghosts. These segments scared the everloving crap out of me as a kid, and now, they would scare the everloving crap out of me as an adult.
Overall, the set was pretty much what I was expecting, although it has some weak points. A few of the included segments don’t deal with ghosts at all. The Mary Celeste’s disappearing crew or a mysterious humming noise is certainly interesting, but those stories might as well have been left out, considering that there are several ghost segments that were excluded from the set. While this isn’t the absolute definitive collection, it’s close enough.
And what it’s meant to do, it does well, and by that I mean sending chills down my back. I bring it out every Halloween and watch it in the dark, just for the added fun of feeling like I’m being watched. After owning the set for several years, I decided to write up an entry detailing (in my opinion) the scariest visual moments. The following is some honest-to-God-piss-your-pants material, so I recommend having a functional lamp nearby if you’re surfing in the dark.
Controversial “Fat Princess” Headed to PS3
July 29, 2008
In Fat Princess, the game starts with two opposing teams (up to 16 per side), each with the other’s princess held captive. The object is to reach the other castle and retrieve the princess, in a ‘capture the flag’ style face-off. But there’s a twist, which lends the game its title. In order to make the captured damsel-in-distress more difficult to carry, she must be fed cake until she’s morbidly obese.
Combat will figure into the game as well. Team members consist of classic fantasy characters such as swordsmen, archers, priests and wizards, clashing with the other side’s units in bloody battles. But fighting has to be balanced with feeding the princess, because she will lose weight if she isn’t stuffed regularly.
A game such as this one has naturally caught the attention of many people, and some are not pleased. Over at the blog Feminist Gamers, a scathing observation of the game’s core mechanic was posted. Contributor Mighty Ponygirl had this to say:
Instead of running out into the forest to find cake to fatten up the princess with, why not go out and find gold (which is a lot heavier than cake) to stuff into a treasure chest. The more gold in the chest, the heavier it would be, and the harder it would be to carry.
Oh, but that’s not as “cute” as cake and fat chicks. Right.
The game will be available on Sony’s Playstation Store service and is expected to be released sometime in 2009. The question of whether some details will be tweaked before then is yet to be answered.
Quad Says: Hey, I’m all for new and innovative ideas. It’s one of the strongest legs the video game industry has to stand on. That said, blatantly making fun of obesity is rather childish. And as far as the question of sexism is concerned, I am feeling some of the same vibes I did when this game came out.
Rockstar Ships GTAIV Baseball Bat
July 1, 2008
This in from Gamepolitics. The bad boys at Rockstar have crafted a product sure to turn a few heads, particularly of those in the anti-game league. It’s not a sequel to Bully or another hidden sex minigame, but it is a bloodstained baseball bat. With the Grand Theft Auto IV logo on it.
Honestly, I’m not sure what to think of this, whether to call it a glorification of baseball bat murderers, or say it’s a sick (but kind of cute) joke. All I know is that a bloodstained GTAIV bat now exists… and I kind of want one.
Diablo III Announced, Lots of Goodies Released
June 29, 2008For fans of Blizzard’s Diablo series or Blizzard in general, this was one unforgettable weekend.
A simple press release wasn’t enough to tantalize us. Not only was Diablo III officially announced, a whole slew of content was loaded onto the Internet. Blizzard has their official site up and running, and a cinematic teaser trailer has been released.
But perhaps the most important thing out of the pile is footage of gameplay, brought to you by the folks at Gametrailers. While it appears to be the same game in some aspects (isometric point-of-view, clicking the mouse like crazy to slaughter armies of beasts) Diablo III differs in a lot of impressive ways. I particularly liked the ability to interact with the environment. Now your characters can tear down walls to squash their pursuers. Nothing is stationary anymore.
So far only two character classes have been revealed: the Barbarian and the Witch Doctor. The Barbarian carries a lot of his/her (I almost forgot–you can choose the sex of your character now) signature moves from Diablo II and remains the master of melee combat. The Witch Doctor wields heavy blasts of fire and can attack from the netherworld.
Seemingly gone from the Diablo world are the health and mana potions. Now enemies drop colored balls that your character can absorb to regain strength. In place of the belt that used to hold the potions is a skill bar, where players can quicklaunch special abilities at the touch of a button.
A release date was not given in the press release. Blizzard will gradually put out more information as times goes by. As a fan and veteran mouseclicker, I’ll be keeping a close eye on Diablo III”s development. It’s looking like one hell of a game already.
Comedian George Carlin Dead, Age 71
June 23, 2008
“Bullshit, I’m gettin’ old. And it’s okay. Because thanks to our fear of death in this country I won’t have to die. I’ll pass away. Or I’ll expire, like a magazine subscription. If it happens in the hospital they’ll call it a terminal episode. The insurance company will refer to it as negative patient care outcome.” – George Carlin, “Doin it Again”, 1990
Well, here’s some depressing news to wake up to. George Carlin, one of my favorite comedians and
one of the great philosophers of our era, died of heart failure yesterday. He was 71.
Carlin was admitted to Saint John’s Health Center in Santa Monica, CA after complaining of chest pain. He died later in the day.
He was famous for his tirades on humanity, religion, and modern language. His “Seven Dirty Words You Can’t Say on Television” (NSFW link, protect your co-workers by plugging in headphones) bit caused a ruckus with the FCC and led to a classic case of censorship. He left behind a legacy of media, including 14 HBO specials, four books, and 22 comedy albums. He also hosted the first episode of “Saturday Night Live” and played the narrator on “Shining Time Station”.
He was an established orator and I mourn his departure.
Here’s a little something extra to help digest the bad news. It’s one of my favorite bits of his.
Movie Review: Spaceballs (1986)
June 20, 2008
While I don’t consider myself a particularly conservative viewer, I do keep a mental list of films to avoid like plague-infected vampire rats. At the top of that list, bolded and underlined, are the Scary Movie sequels and the (?) Movie spin-offs that Aaron Seltzer and Jason Friedberg fart out every year. These travesties feature lame-brained parodies of popular scenes, gross-out humor, dated cultural references (oh look, it’s Dr. Phil, ahaha), and a kind of cheap, low-rent presentation aimed at easily misled people with low expectations.
Bearing all of these faults in mind, do I now have to extend the same restriction to Mel Brooks’s Spaceballs? After all, it features lame-brained parodies of popular scenes, minimal gross-out humor, dated cultural references (oh look, it’s the sound-effects guy from Police Academy, ahaha) and, if not a low-rent presentation, then a somewhat mediocre one. And since it’s more heavily a spoof of Star Wars than any of the other sci-fi movies it riffs, it was released three years too late. I’m torn on this one. Spaceballs was one of my favorite movies growing up, but if I gave it any kind of praise now I’d feel like a hypocrite. Is there anything that can save it from ending up on my eBay sale list?
“Postal” Receives Top Award at Hoboken Film Festival
June 16, 2008
Has Uwe ‘Turkey’ Boll finally created his (passable) masterpiece?
It would certainly seem that way, according to a Gamepolitics post this morning. The notorious director’s latest opus Postal has scored the top award at the Hoboken International Film Festival. GP received word from a press release sent by Vince Desi, head of Running With Scissors.
In addition to the top audience award, Boll received the pick for Best Director. No, I’m not lying. The results are right there on the page.
Postal had a limited theatrical release on May 23. It hits DVD on August 26.
Here’s Boll plugging his movie on FOX News:
