Reviews « Quad’s Corner

Reviews

Every so often, I get it in my head that I’m a critic, and that the world will benefit from my masterful opinions of pop culture. Well, not so much the second part, but I do occasionally pen reviews and post them on this blog.

Listed below are all said additions that I’ve made to Quad’s Corner, conveniently located on one page so you won’t have to file through the archives to find them. keep in mind that I’m no Ebert, nor am I a film scholar who’s going to point out the deeper philosophical meanings of Jason Biggs boning pies or Samuel L. Jackson cursing at snakes on his plane. At best, all I can give you are barebones list of reasons why a particular movie or game is good or not.

Also, I usually don’t critique current material. Very rarely will I go to the theater and come back with a review of the latest box office hits; I review whatever’s lying around the house and strikes me as interesting at the moment, whether it’s been on DVD for a few months or on Gameboy for the last 20 years. So these selections may only interest those who like reading about ancient things. Hey, it works for Yahtzee.

The Rating System

I use the tried-and-true star rating system to sum up my opinions. Although it’s accurate for the most part, it should only be used as a supplemental guide and not a substitute for the review itself. It’s better that you know why a movie or game is horrible rather than relying on the rating. They’re not always final and absolute, either; sometimes I’ll go back and change them if I felt I wasn’t fair enough (or too fair).

****- Fantastic, marvelous, remarkable, a triumph. The best of its kind. See it or play it at all costs.

*** ½- Damned awesome.. Slightly misses achieving perfection, but what doesn’t?

***- Good, solid fare. Worth your time and/or money, but has its share of flaws as well.

** ½- Good, but definitely not great. Somewhat below average.

**- Strictly fair. Notably forgettable. Only worth a rental or a cable viewing.

* ½- Bad. Although it’s tolerable, there are better things to waste your resources on. Rent/play/watch it, but only if you’re bored or enjoying riffing repellent things.

*- Terrible. A travesty by the parties involved. I’d stay away, but go ahead and check it out… if you dare.

½- Rancid. It’s dangerously close to scraping the bottom of whatever receptacle you like to metaphorically use, but is redeemed by something very, slightly positive.

(No stars)- The worst of the worst. A new low for humanity. The epitome of all that is wrong or obscene. Never, ever go near it.

(No rating)- In some rare instances, I won’t get to finish watching something because circumstances prevented it or I fell asleep from boredom. If that’s the case, you’ll see this.